Infidelity (Cheating) Common Cause of Separation
You’ll be cut like a knife once you found out that your spouse or your lover is having sex with another. This is unacceptable both socially and morally. It can brought a tremendous impact to your emotion and ego. It’s really devastating feeling that you can get. You may fall into this question, “am I not good enough?”
Infidelity or unfaithfulness, it an act of betrayal towards an intimate relation. It’s either sexual or non-sexual in form. It is one of the common cause of separation. It is said that there are approximately 50% chances a certain person can commit infidelity within a relation. Illicit affair is not a result out of a bad or unhappy marriage, but it’s usually co-exist during happy marriages, that make a good marriage bitter or failed.
Infidelity usually has a serious involvement of third-party who became the major cause of deception. A perfect or not so perfect established relationship was heartless and inconsiderate ruined unfavorably. The two areas of infidelity covers physical and emotional intimacy out-of-wedlock. Emotional intimacy is not about your partner having sex with another woman, but it’s more about betraying your trust that tend to lie and become disloyal.
Adultery, philandery or an affair is a form of sexual fidelity the occurs during marriage and other interpersonal relationship it may call cheating. When a man whose wife committed an adultery is called cuckold, and a woman whose husband has cheated on her is known as a cuckquean. While emotional infidelity refers to emotional involvement of one person which lead into romantic love. This usually involves the time and attention of one person to someone else, that practically offers an emotional comfort and security.
Possible Initial Signs of Infidelity
1. Your spouse or lover is attracted to another, he got an eye for someone. He loves to see the beauty and every good side of that person. He loves to give praise and recognize that someone effort.
2. Your spouse or lover has a strong attachment to a particular person, someone who’s taking his time and shifting all his attention away from you and to your kids diverting his focused to someone who interest him.
3. Your spouse or lover need time apart or a breathing space. You’ll notice some changes in him. He begun to blame you for his behavioral changes.
4. Your spouse or lover can’t be detached from one particular person for they have known each other in long-term basis. He keeps on sticking with that person despite that person causing your relationship to have conflicts and to crack up. He totally didn’t gave that person up.
5. He begun to become disinterested in sex. He often find an escape and always has an excuse for not filling up and giving your need. He become frigid and cold.
The Facts That You Should Know: Infidelity has different faces, there’s a tendency that it can happen to anyone without exemption. You must pay attention to the early signs in order to save the relationship. The most common root of this breach or violation of mutual trust usually occurs within your spouse or lover circle. It could be from his associates, co-worker, neighbour, friends, virtual friends, it can be a stripper in the bar or those sex-worker online.
Physical and emotional infidelity are both equally hurting, painful, can demoralize and lower your self-esteem. As it said that 90% of roughly estimated involvement of infidelity became the major cause of first time divorce and 27% roughly estimated happy marriages admitted that they still had or still having an affair in their life. Couple who are still willing to save their marriage seek help and advice from the marriage counsellors.
My stand regarding this matter, I don’t want to eat my words but I can presume that there will be no white flag coming from my camp. I don’t think I can still trust a cheater “once a liar always a liar” so once you cheated on me that’s it. I don’t need flowers, I don’t need him beg me to come home, I don’t need empty promises, I don’t need him taking me back. I guess he better packed his belonging and go so did I.
If I open my arms and welcome him back in my life, I know God always render us his forgiveness for all our sins but I’m not God, I’m just human, weak, impulsive, and faulty most of the time but considering the point of going to bed with someone else, It’s really unforgiven. I will never never trust that person ever again and he can’t never make me rest assured that he will not do it again. Like I said It’s better “not to love and to get hurt rather than to have loved at all”. I can’t take being hurt and laugh at my back. I guess it’s much better to live alone than to be with a beast. Anyway it’s him who firstly cut the string, it’s him who put an end to the line, it’s him who is liable for this.
Finally saving marriage is not my preference once I caught my spouse having an extramarital affair. If we already have kids, I hope not by that time but in case I guess might stay with him but I can promise that same old days will never be back again. If we don’t have kids yet then I guess we better parted ways for too much damage is done. I can not tolerate seeing myself being with a weak man, who never been contented with me. He can’t never win back my trust. I’ll just pick up myself and move on though I’m hurting. For I need a real man, someone who is faithful and all mine. I don’t like to share my man. If he fails then he isn’t strong enough to be my man.